CollabSystem Normal

Yep, Normal day at the office

We have heard your feedback loud and clear. Nobody likes change. That’s why CollabSystem are proud to announce CollabSystem Normal.

In these uncertain times, we need to come together. Nobody wants to be dealing with the pain of change when we are dealing with the pain of everything else in life. We might have toilet paper now, but things are still far from comfortable. We know you want things to be normal again.

Not Too Little – the New Normal

New Normal is too hard

Other vendors might try to sell you something dressed up for these time. Everyone is talking about the New Normal.

We can’t really keep up with these fads. What exactly is this New Normal? It’s something that involves work invading your home. Then you discover masks were bad idea because of shortages then a good idea to keep the economy open and now they are a bad idea again for some threat to our freedom. Just when you fall in love with background blur there are virtual backgrounds and Brady Bunch grids. The next New Normal is already being conceived in an abandoned WeWork by software bros fuelled by craft beer and craft coffee and funded by massive amounts of VC money, just like the Old WeWork. The problem with the New Normal is that there is always a whiter, brighter, newer Normal.

The New Normal is just an attempt to make you love the compromises life has forced on you. Your organisation didn’t resist flexibility, autonomy and digital work for so long just because it couldn’t make its mind up what to do in the face of a changing world. You managed your digital agenda on your own terms and your own time. Your CEO and CIO knew that all that mattered was being just like everyone else. You won’t settle for New Normal’s shabby simalcrum. You want it all to be a bit more normal and peer approved.

Old Normal Won’t Cut it. Sorry John

Not too Much – the Old Normal

Others might be trying to sell you a nostalgic version of Old Normal like they had back in the 1950s. Remember your grandparents stopped using Old Normal for good reason. It never worked for them. Like the non-inclusive, sexist, ableist, ageist & racist children’s book people gave you read as a child, it’s not as good as anyone remembers and looks pretty shabby now. It will feel seriously creepy and alienating to try to return to it. Plus you don’t want your neighbours to know you use Old Normal. They’ll either confess to being Old Normal users too and you might feel the need to move or they will smile at you with the thin lips they save for deranged bigots.

Just The Right Amount of Normal

We know you just want the classic traditional good value Normal that you are used too. CollabSystem Normal is delivered to you the way it always has been. It does what it says on the tin. Buy CollabSystem Normal and you will get the approval of all your peers. Nobody will point you out for comment or ridicule because your Normal is just like the socially approved official illusion of normality that is reinforced everywhere.

There are no confusing options, flexibility or adoption issues with CollabSystem Normal. You either can use it or you can’t. The latter users will be locked out if they try. Social exclusion is key to reinforcing standards of normality. CollabSystem Normal is not inclusive or accessible. The actual user it has been designed to meet is vanishingly rare and mostly a collective figment.

Start your journey to normality today. Sign up for CollabSystem Normal and you will be fine.

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