We Guarantee Collaboration Overload

 

Sarah at the end of a busy day testing the science of collaboration

Collaboration Overload has become an important debate in many business publications. Sure the studies are mostly misrepresented or overblown, but at CollabSystem we know how to jump on a bandwagon to ship product. Here is how our product solutions guarantee to burn out and dishearten your employees. Don’t worry about changing the culture of the organisation, just add our products and watch engaged employees drop.

Start With An Unusual Definition of Collaboration

For the purposes of our study rather than define collaboration in any way reflecting two people coming together to complete work, we decided to define it as a rolling series of ad hoc meetings and obscure tasks shuffled from one employee to another by email.  We find this is how most organisations work.

Add Top Quality Misrepresented Scientific Research

At CollabSystems we know how to do cheap but effective.  We couldn’t actually get any reputable scientists to work on our project. That left our HR team who have run some horrendous experiments in their time. Our HR directors said it was unethical and expensive for us to test on monkeys. She suggested the interns were cheaper and more compliant.

So we asked our interns to sit in a series of conference rooms all day with mindless individual tasks to complete. At regular intervals during the day, managers entered the room to threaten their jobs or sent emails completely reorganising the meeting rooms and individual tasks. Like most managers, our goal was to maximise fear and confusion and generally interfere with delivery. We saw lots of fear, some delivery, but no signs of collaboration.

Finally, we told the interns that if the job wasn’t completed on time, Sarah would be sacked. Most of the interns expressed relief at this and demonstrated a strong willingness to collaborate with Sarah now.  Collaboration overload skyrocketed as everyone stopped work, emailed Sarah their uncompleted tasks and went to have a drink with the managers in the other conference room. We view the experiment conclusive proof of collaboration overload. Sarah’s case will be settled soon on confidential terms.

How CollabSystem Tools Guarantee Collaboration Overload

We have identified three key elements to effective collaboration overload: fear, lack of recognition and lack of human relationships in the workplace. Our CollabSystem tools have been engineered to maximise the impact of all three elements and worsen collaboration overload in your teams. Using CollabSystem tools, you can guarantee that all employees feel socially isolated, publicly exposed to threats and fears and offered little support or recognition for the work they do for anyone.

With CollabSystem tools in your workplace, all your employees can feel as overloaded as Sarah.

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