Obsessed with Chat

CollabSystem have today unveiled their solution to the current corporate obsession with chat. Available for team offsites and perfect for combining with a Walk, the dedicated co-working spaces are said to be inspired by the cone of silence from Get Smart.

Under the guise of an offsite, the offending team members are placed in a specially designed steel echo chamber for an hour. During the therapy session, noise bounces around the chamber to near deafening levels. Any attempt to “chat” during the session only makes things worse.

Participants are advised to leave their phones at the door, since battery life reduces to 7 minutes as their device unsuccessfully tries to find a signal from inside the metal tomb. The resulting separation anxiety also highlights any need for technology addiction counselling (additional service, charges apply).

The immersion experience is 100% effective, and none of the participants have ever wanted to chat again. All customers have come to enjoy the silence that is traditionally associated with not working in a steel vat.

We bought a brewery because we wanted a super-hipster workplace to show off to our customers, but didn’t know what to do with the industrial junk. We’re quite proud of our #futureofwork team, turning rusty old steel silos into an on-trend corporate retreat. Shows what you can do with a bit of marketing pizzazz. We still can’t believe people actually pay us to use them, not small bikkies either!

Participants are monitored at all times during their obsession sessions through a small porthole originally designed to add hops.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s