The Future of Work is HAARD

CollabSystems is never going to get left behind in the race to devalue humanity. Therefore as the sunsets on the human age, we are excited to announce the dawn of the new era of future of work – Hierarchical Autonomous Augmented Reality Devices. These HAARD devices will do everything your employees were once capable of doing and they will do it with lasers!  Never again will you need to worry about whether your employees are collaborating enough. Never again will you need soft skills. Never again will your competitors see the dawn. HAARD devices don’t collaborate they just handshake, share status and blast the enemy to smithereens get work done.

The HAARD Device

The HAARD device is the latest technology for warfare collaborative work. For too long organisations have been struggling to engage employees and to better their practice of soft skills. The Future of Work will be HAARD.  Our exciting new weapons HAARD devices will be:

Hierarchical: There is nothing like a drone to know its place. Code well and these HAARD devices will never put a step out of line. You can sit at the board table surrounded by the comforting buzz of a near infinite fleet of subservient drones. Strictly, hierarchy was unnecessary in a drone fleet, but all our clients insisted on the feature. The HAARD devices attack work seamlessly and in neat formations. Mostly the HAARD devices work effectively in hierarchy though there is a small Skynet bug we are still trying to eliminate.

Autonomous: Calling upon the computing power of the cloud and highly sophisticated analytics each drone will be entirely autonomous, requiring no human direction to complete its tasks, to swarm with its fellow drones and turn its lasers on unsuspecting foes collaborate with your customer’s drones. Sustained autonomous function will require good wifi and a continuous source of power. In the absence of either the HAARD devices will retire to the nearest cafe, just like regular employees.

Augmented Reality:  If you are going to win in battle a competitive market, you need the best situational awareness.  HAARD devices come fitted with sensors will be augmented with the information resources of the cloud until they are completely overwhelmed with menus, drop downs and icons in their decision making processes. Judgment, discretion and effectiveness are entirely unnecessary when you have data.

Drones: Swarming buzzing drones with lasers! Need I say more.  Pilot tests indicate great potential for the HAARD in battle operational areas. Unfortunately, we are still looking for a more effective interaction pattern than lasers for customer service and service industries. The HAARD drones are definitely not recommended for use with small children, animals or anyone expecting empathy.

Implement HAARD devices in your organisation and you will be leveraging all the power of robotic warfare the Intenet of Things. But that’s not the end to our hype and buzzwords:

HAARD Devices have Blockchain too

Nobody understands the Blockchain. We certainly don’t. Everyone wants to be first to take advantage of the unbelievable hype and the unfathomable uncertainty. That’s why today we are announcing our Hierarchical Autonomous Augmented Reality Drone cryto-currency – HAARDcoin.

Blockchain is the classic solution in search of a problem and why should we be last to bolt it on for no reason. As they navigate their tasks our HAARD devices will exchange cryto-currency and create a continuous secure and entirely trustless journal of their kills activities. Nobody knows why that’s a good thing but prices of HAARDcoin are already skyrocketing at the potential (& a cornering of the market run by our founders).

In a rapidly changing battleground market, your organisation needs the best, most inhuman weapon collaboration devices it can obtain. A HAARD device is your best choice. Any sign of humanity in your organisation is a potential weakness.

Forget the hard challenge of building soft skills.

The Future of Work is HAARD (with added Blockchain)

One thought on “The Future of Work is HAARD

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s