CollabSystems: Collaboration For All Generations

A typical digital workplace showing the diversity of the generations

Much ink has been spilled over the role of demographics in the future of work. Coining a new generation is lucrative work, particularly as much of it is nonsense. CollabSystem doesn’t want to miss an opportunity to waste ink so here is our guide to leveraging CollabSystem solutions with the key generations in the Workplace of the Future.

Boomers and Older: CollabSystem is not compatible with Boomers and older generations. We recommend you remove these from your workforce immediately, if they have not removed themselves by now. We are talking about the generations of the future here. That means young ones. Older people might be wise, experienced, effective, and insightful.  They have a lot of life to share but let them go do a TEDX talk. Upgrade your Boomer employee as quickly as possible, CEO and Board members excepted as per usual. The Boomer and older generations don’t need collaborative work. Let them celebrate their life achievements, their comfortable shoes, and prodigious share of human wealth.

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A boomer celebrating the absence of CollabSystems in their life

Generation X: CollabSystem is fully fax-compatible. Generation Xers who wish to relive this transformative technology can send or receive posts by fax. Generation X remember back to a childhood when the world was black and white and CollabSystem offers an option to switch all images to their preferred mode of smug sophistication (see below).  Generation X know they are the last generation to benefit from general sense of prosperity and they don’t intend to share anything with anyone. This is the generation that privatised the world. Private group features in CollabSystem will appeal to their sense of entitlement, exclusivity, and fear of retribution.

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Smug Sophistication is fully supported for Generation X. Red wine is not included.

Generation Y: This Generation was named because nobody can remember why they are here. They are so obscure there is no precise dates for when this generation begins and ends. Most people have stopped referring to this generation. CollabSystem supports their preference for text messaging as the sole form of human communication at least as long as their plan offers free messaging. When they move out of their parent’s houses and take responsibility for their future, we will develop further features.

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A rare sighting of a Generation Y in the wild

Digital Natives:  Digital Natives have experienced nothing but the internet era. CollabSystems gets them deeply. We communicate directly with their brains over Wifi using a fully secure API interface. We get their passion for navigating the urban jungles of the planet as digital nomads. CollabSystems translates all global languages into hip phrases for tattoos as badly as they do. Hipster mode adds a beard to all images, comes with an integrated espresso machine and adds a steampunk veneer across all our user interfaces. CollabSystem recognises that for digital natives work is deeply secondary to a fulfilling life purpose. With a flick of a button, you can provide your Digital Natives with a convincing simulacrum of purpose through gamification. Digital Natives can level up to real purpose when you have had time to replace them with robots.

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Collaborating in the Urban Jungle with Digital Natives

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