Author: carlosmorley

CollabSystems is never going to get left behind in the race to devalue humanity. Therefore as the sunsets on the human age, we are excited to announce the dawn of the new era of future of work – Hierarchical Autonomous Augmented Reality Devices. These HAARD devices will do everything your employees were once capable of doing and they will do it with lasers!  Never again will you need to worry about whether your employees are collaborating enough. Never again will you need soft skills. Never again will your competitors see the dawn. HAARD devices don’t collaborate they just handshake, share status and blast the enemy to smithereens get work done.

The HAARD Device

The HAARD device is the latest technology for warfare collaborative work. For too long organisations have been struggling to engage employees and to better their practice of soft skills. The Future of Work will be HAARD.  Our exciting new weapons HAARD devices will be:

Hierarchical: There is nothing like a drone to know its place. Code well and these HAARD devices will never put a step out of line. You can sit at the board table surrounded by the comforting buzz of a near infinite fleet of subservient drones. Strictly, hierarchy was unnecessary in a drone fleet, but all our clients insisted on the feature. The HAARD devices attack work seamlessly and in neat formations. Mostly the HAARD devices work effectively in hierarchy though there is a small Skynet bug we are still trying to eliminate.

Autonomous: Calling upon the computing power of the cloud and highly sophisticated analytics each drone will be entirely autonomous, requiring no human direction to complete its tasks, to swarm with its fellow drones and turn its lasers on unsuspecting foes collaborate with your customer’s drones. Sustained autonomous function will require good wifi and a continuous source of power. In the absence of either the HAARD devices will retire to the nearest cafe, just like regular employees.

Augmented Reality:  If you are going to win in battle a competitive market, you need the best situational awareness.  HAARD devices come fitted with sensors will be augmented with the information resources of the cloud until they are completely overwhelmed with menus, drop downs and icons in their decision making processes. Judgment, discretion and effectiveness are entirely unnecessary when you have data.

Drones: Swarming buzzing drones with lasers! Need I say more.  Pilot tests indicate great potential for the HAARD in battle operational areas. Unfortunately, we are still looking for a more effective interaction pattern than lasers for customer service and service industries. The HAARD drones are definitely not recommended for use with small children, animals or anyone expecting empathy.

Implement HAARD devices in your organisation and you will be leveraging all the power of robotic warfare the Intenet of Things. But that’s not the end to our hype and buzzwords:

HAARD Devices have Blockchain too

Nobody understands the Blockchain. We certainly don’t. Everyone wants to be first to take advantage of the unbelievable hype and the unfathomable uncertainty. That’s why today we are announcing our Hierarchical Autonomous Augmented Reality Drone cryto-currency – HAARDcoin.

Blockchain is the classic solution in search of a problem and why should we be last to bolt it on for no reason. As they navigate their tasks our HAARD devices will exchange cryto-currency and create a continuous secure and entirely trustless journal of their kills activities. Nobody knows why that’s a good thing but prices of HAARDcoin are already skyrocketing at the potential (& a cornering of the market run by our founders).

In a rapidly changing battleground market, your organisation needs the best, most inhuman weapon collaboration devices it can obtain. A HAARD device is your best choice. Any sign of humanity in your organisation is a potential weakness.

Forget the hard challenge of building soft skills.

The Future of Work is HAARD (with added Blockchain)

Today is a Red Banner Day for CollabSystem with the launch of Total mode.

Collaboration has often been seen by organisations as a risky prospect where employees might engage in unauthorised conversations, share unauthorised information or take unapproved action. CollabSystem has finally solved this uncertainty for organisations with Total mode.

After extensive customer feedback and an exciting prospect in Pyongyang, we are proud to announce our latest suite of features for collaboration, Total mode. Total mode offers organisations unparallelled control over their employee’s collaboration and never before seen consistency in the approach to work and thought. With a simple flick of a switch in the admin panel of CollabSystem’s products, teams can experience the digital workplace of a totalitarian digital future.

The features that will be experienced by all users in Total mode include:

Handy Autocompletion: Suggested text will be prompted to users for all posts to ensure that they post in line with corporate culture, policies, standards, and brand voice. Organisations that want to be sure people post the right things can now rest assured. Pilot testing to date indicates that autocompletion dramatically reduces the likelihood of independent thought.

Authorised Images: Only authorised images will be able to be posted to the CollabSystem tool. All images will be drawn from the organisations content management system.  The system will come preloaded with fun corporate memes such as “I didn’t know it was so much fun to work harder”, “Rise to Greatness with Approved Thought” and “Smarter because I follow policy”.

Instant AI-powered ‘Community Management’: In the unlikely event that an employee is reckless enough to complete a message on their own, our bots will scan, correct and delete messages and users as required.

Total Reporting Suite: Every single keystroke and interaction in the system will be logged, recorded in real time and available for playback for eternity. Organisations will know with complete certainty every single detail of their employee’s relationships in the organisation. No document or post will ever be lost or deleted again.

Perfect Control Over Information: Our user profiles allow for granular control of users work, access to information and ability to share information. We can guarantee you that even your auto-complete and authorised images will only be seen by the right people. No information will enter or exit your organisation without your knowledge and control.

Integrated Consequence Management: In Total mode, community managers will no longer need to worrry about managing the consequences for employees of inadvertent, accidental or dangerous behaviour. Consequence management is totally integrated into the product. While we have found this has a chilling effect on iniative and action, organisational dysfunction, economic collapse, rebellion, and famine are thrown in for free as bonus extras.

[Insert Adjective] Leader Feature:  With this new mode, all employees will be required to read messages of dedicated executive team members, watch their videos and engage in team praise of the nominated executives in during ‘leadership jam’ sessions. All decisions by employees everywhere in your business will instead flow to the [Insert Adjective] Leader for action. Customers currently piloting this mode are experiencing minor lags of a decade for decisions.

One Monolithic Clunky Unresponsive Integrated Solution: Control mode will offer total integration across modules and only linear process controlled interaction patterns. Rules engines on each process will ensure that employees can only work as expected. To meet the expectations of clients who seek this mode we have downgraded the user interface, included extensive bugs and will fork this mode to ensure no further product upgrades are flowed to customers using this solution. The product you buy for total control will be exactly the same a thousand years from now, if your regime lasts that long.

Note: CollabSystem takes no responsibility for the response of the international community to the decision to implement Total mode. Customers implementing Total mode may experience exclusion, sanctions and other forms of condemnation. CollabSystem in no way recommends Total mode. Previous executive teams who have implemented Total mode have generally shortened their tenure and life, damaged their reputations and created extraordinary misery for their people.

For clients whose brand colors are not red, a full banner color picker is available in the admin panel. 

Continuing its exciting industry-leading cadence of new product announcements, CollabSystem today previewed their two new Digital Workplace Solutions: Desk and Phone. CollabSystem’s Head of Product Marketing said

Digital Workplace Solutions are hot right now. Everyone is talking about it. We thought we needed one. Everyone is using the term in a different way. We weren’t sure what it means either, but with two words as vague as digital + workplace, how could we go wrong? To be safe, we are announcing two different products now and when can always deliver something later when customers know what they want.

Desk For The Office Worker

Desk is the go-to place for a digital knowledge worker to do their work. Desk provides employees with an all-in-one place work experience. From storing photos of your loved ones, to keeping your contacts and diary, to connecting with colleagues and offering a physical place of refuge from work demands, Desk offers the ideal place for the digital worker to get the job done. For senior workers, Desk can be easily upgraded to our premium solution Office, which offers greater privacy, more storage, and an indoor plant. Desk is fully integrated with Walking, Talking, and Working.

With the rise of the activity based workplace, we saw an increasing demand from digital workers for a solution like Desk. Not everyone can work on a bright orange couch and what is the point of all those Table tennis tables?

said CollabSystem’s Head of Product Marketing.

Phone For The Mobile Worker

Phone is the perfect digital workplace solution for the mobile worker. Studies show a quick conversation on Phone can be faster and more effective than any other digital workplace tool. Phone can be used in a range of situations where other workplace solutions fail, such as anywhere without reliable WiFi. CollabSystem’s Head of Product Marketing said;

We find mobile workers are mobile because they need to talk to other people. Technology can only help so much when you need to chat to someone. Phone makes it easier to do that when not using Desk.

Phone supports all the industry leading mobile applications. Mobile Workers will fund that they can easily fill Phone with apps they barely use. Phone also offers an unique low-accountability low-effort mode of digital work called Messaging, perfect for those times you are looking for refuge from work on the road.

Note: Desk and Phone continue CollabSystem’s approach of basing its collaboration products in hundred of years of human behaviour. Both are currently alpha concepts that sit far out on our product roadmap. They meet needs for key customer personas, look great as sticky notes and really answered the nagging ‘what’s your product roadmap? questions. When we have budget to build anything, CollabSystem will confirm their release dates. 

Every organisation wants better sharing of information, more effective problem solving and the ability to innovate to deliver better solutions for its customers and its business. Effective collaboration is key to this improved performance.

How Better Collaboration Really Works

You can’t buy a product to make your teams more collaborative. Collaboration technology in its many forms simply provides a platform for human activity. What your very real human employees do with that platform depends on the context, the culture and the capabilities you have supported when you implemented a collaboration platform. Change Agents Worldwide helps organisation get these elements right to build effective human community for more effective and more valubale collaboration.

Our Collaboration Maturity Model

Change Agents Worldwide’s approach to collaboration recognises that the maturity of collaboration in your organisation develops over a number of stages. Getting to the higher forms of value creation like Solving and Innovating faster takes the right activities to change the ways your teams work.

The work we do in each stage of our model is:

Connect: This phase is focused on getting the right people together and helping them to connect in real human ways. The Connect phase involves ensuring that you have the groups in place that will make it easy for your teams to find each other and the right information. The phase also includes shaping the strategic and personal benefits for employees in changing the way they work.

Share: This phase involves helping your employees to begin to share their work using Working Out Loud and other approaches. Developing a culture of transparency, curiosity and continuous learning will drive up the value of collaboration and the trust across your organisation.

Solve: The real value of your employees is their ability to solve the problems that arise in work. In this phase, we help them leverage the collective information, expertise and experience of your organisation to get work done faster and more effectively.

Innovate: The innovate phase is where we enable your employees to autonomously address opportunities to improve their work and deliver better solutions for customers. We help employees to lead collective responses to situations and to learn to make experiments to test their approaches. Managing this in a culture of transparency and accountability provides both personal purpose for employees and accelerating strategic value for the organisation.

Contact Change Agents Worldwide today to discuss how we can help accelerate collaboration in your organisation. We can develop a plan for a more effective approach to collaboration for your teams in a 2-hour workshop. Our approach works across any collaboration platform or set of work tools. We are focused on the ways your employees need to work differently to be more effective and deliver greater strategic value.